Trojan Pam

As a person that has had to take personal responsibility for my own romantic failures, I realise that a lot of times, we are in love with the drama and its curious that if the person we’re pursuing… if they supposedly have us all that we claimed we wanted a lot of the times we would probably leave … had she gotten what she wanted from him would she have moved on to another person who is a challenge again… it takes two to tango and I do feel that as women a lot of times we put ourselves in the victim role and men do it too … if the guys doing all this why are you still hanging out so is he the only one with the problem or do you have a problem… I don’t know if its as much as loving the drama as it is avoiding true intimacy; are we hooking up with people because we’ve become victims of white supremacy… we’ve become paranoid. Its very difficult to let your guard down, its very difficult to love when your under attack and assault all the time, so I believe that some of our relationships we’ve had to put so much armour on and have so much paranoid and not trust because we’ve been abused
#232 For Colored Girls Only, Oct 20, 2010 (w/ Pam)

We hook up with people who we can guarantee that they’ll never get too close, you know we avoid the intimacy and I think that’s part of what leads us into these inter racial relationships… the best it gets is tacky… because if you’re with someone, you’re a person that’s being oppressed in a white supremacy system, and your with a white person who is benefiting from your oppression and that white person denies that they’re benefiting, and you deny that they’re benefiting, how in the world can you think you know each other, If you can’t be honest about the biggest thing that affects your life as a black person and… you cant talk honestly with that person about it. That person is denying that you’re being mistreated but claim that they love you, how can you claim that your relationship is deep. Its shallow and superficial, and I think that because black people have so much emotional trauma that we may even seek out relationships that guarantee that we never have to show our true self and that guarantee that we can be superficial and remain on a shallow basis and dealing with a man like that and I’ve known him, you’re guaranteed that you’ll never get intimate with him because he wont even show up for a date and so you know there’s no chance of him having to expose who you really are and there’s no chance of him having to get too close and maybe that’s what makes the “dog” so appealing, is you don’t have to fix what’s wrong with; you an focus on what’s wrong with him… right now we have a lot of psychological baggage because of white supremacy …
#232 For Colored Girls Only, Oct 20, 2010 (w/ Pam)

Here’s this man that’s not supposed to desire me that paying attention to me so his attention in the mind of a black female that wants that white validation so his attention carries more weight because he is a white man in a white supremacy system which means his opinion matters more than a non white person opinion … white people determine who has value and who doesn’t … [people] are vulnerable to that need… he is the one that does the choosing… the most powerful one in that relationship … the white person offers a respite from their reality… it gives them a false comfort.. with two black people that’s too much black reality, with a white person you can reinvest yourself and pretend to be someone else and I think that’s the appeal of white people, they allow you to recreate yourself into a false persona where your not as black or as despise as you would be with a black partner,,, most women I know are more concerned with the box they live in … they seldom look outside that box…. Women, we love fantasy… the marriage, my wedding day is the most important… women are encouraged from a very early age to focus on fantasy more than reality…
Pam, Trojan Horse

…beauty really matters… [and] is the white standard… to get ahead in Hollywood… [do] not have a white women… a women is worthwhile because men see her as worthwhile and if the women don’t see her as worthwhile she has no value … these girls are attempting to emulate what they have been taught is beautiful and when you look in a mirror, you don’t see what’s there when your self esteem and self interest is destroyed the same way a white girl who’s anorexic, doesn’t see that she skinny, she looks in a mirror and she sees fat. So black girls are looking in the mirror and they’re not seeing beauty, they’re not seeing anything that naturally beautiful they’re seeing ugliness that needs to be corrected … only they don’t know it… getting the black person to participate, that’s a power move … in thee casual interactions at work when your at around and nobody else is listening when he can saddle up to you, unobserved and unheard by other white [people] … its generally something that’s done out of ear shot and out of eye sight of other peers. They don’t really care as much what black people think because you have no ability to harm their reputation or to punish them … generally speaking… political correctness ahs led to people doing things in such a way to hide what their real position is ….
Pam, Trojan Horse

Having the next generation go through what we went through. That should be our biggest fear
Pam, Trojan Horse


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